Dad, I miss you terribly!

Sometimes.....I can't even believe you are not here, because life has kept on going just the same. But, you are so missed here. I wish I could ask your advice on so many things. You made things look so easy. I would love to go to lunch again every day like we used to do. 

I want so badly to hug you again and just be with you and Mom, hanging around the house. I have so many things I wish I could have said to you. 

I look forward to seeing you again! Until then I am thankful for every treasured memory and photograph we have of you. I love you, Dad, and I miss you terribly. 

Six Months

Six months have passed since my father left this earth to be with the Lord. It's a strange feeling. Six Months. That always seems so long, so far away, and yet it has gone by. Soon it will be a year. A year without my father. It's unfathomable, and yet it's happening. I want to tell him things. I want his advice. Mark needed his mentoring ability in his search for a new job. His fatherly talks with the famous metaphors and comparing his example to our life. "Look at it this way" and "here's what I think." It makes no sense that he's really not here. And yet, I feel such a burden lifted by not watching him suffer any longer. He was in such pain and he never wanted anyone to know how much. He suffered silently and plugged along up until the final weeks. He felt desperate, I know, toward the end. We watched him change. We saw him tell everyone he loved them so much. I know if you are reading this, that you loved him, too.

Thank you friends. For your support and for caring. Thank you dad, for everything you did for me and my family. You are a fine example of how to give and how to be brave and how to teach and love. I love you dad.

Thanks and Request

First, I would like to thank everyone for their outpouring of support at this most difficult time. We are so thankful to have such wonderful friends who have brought us food and run errands and made our situation bearable. Our gratitude is sincere and our hearts are full.

Second, I am sorry to say this, but we must request that out of respect for Gibby (our Dad) and our situation that visits from guests must come to an end. He is sleeping much of the time and it is better at this point for him to have his rest. Please know that we appreciate more than anything your kind thoughts and prayers and your desire to support him. It is only the desire to make our patient comfortable that urges us to make this request. Thank you for understanding.

Cherish

Better Days......and Nights

Hi all,
Mom sounded a bit gloomy in her last post, but the reason is that dad seemed as if he was in a coma from late Monday to Weds morning. He was given compazine and phenergan to control nausea on top of his regular meds. I think he reacted poorly to the compazine because Monday and Tuesday he just slept or stared into space and mostly did not respond. Weds morning I didn't give him his compazine and he was like his old self again. He has had quite a few visitors since then including old high school and fraternity friends. He is watching the football games and keeping stats on scores. David is there as much as possible to keep him company. He is a wondrful friend. A wonderful man. God has blessed my father with a friend like that. (The others are great too, Dave, Keith,Bill, etc.) Don't feel left out.

He was also getting very fidgity during the night.... up and down all night from the recliner to the bed and back again. Last night was fairly peaceful. He slept more and his feet look better too.


Thanks for checking in everyone.

Hello Dear Friends.....

There is really nothing to say, except that we appreciate the kindness and support you are giving us. We appreciate the food and the fact that you are checking on him all of the time. We know you all have your own busy lives to live and the fact that you are taking time out to see him and to support us as we go through this means the world to us all. We are so fortunate to have such a great family of friends.

Our gratitude can never be expressed.
Cherish

Year three - Here we are

Well, the fourth year of our journey will begin in a few days and I must say that I am surprised we are here at all! I mean, we have had more miracles than we ever imagined. Dad is really an amazing man who has fought harder to live than I thought possible.

We went to the oncologist today. They gave him some more fluid and another IV of anti-nausea drug. Unfortunately, the bilirubin came back at 2.7, so we are not able to do chemo, again. Dad seemed pretty sad about that. I know that he feels like time is slipping away and he needs to get that bilirubin down.

We are so appreciative of Jaqueline and Vivan for the wonderful food. I cannot tell you how perfect your timing was. Dad loved the soup.

We can never express our gratitude for your support. You are so great and we love you all!

Message to Diane

If your sister has cholangiocarcinoma and you need support, please feel free to join the discussion groups at http://www.cholangiocarcioma.org or Johns Hopkins Bile Duct and Gallbladder Cancer Message Board They are both useful, supportive groups. Thank you for your kind words. We will be thinking of you and your sister and pray for her as well. Best Wishes!

Prayer Request

To all of you out there who are checking this blog....if you are at all religious, please pray for my father. For all of you who aren't sure, please pray anyway. He really needs an extra prayer or two right now.

August News

It is difficult to update you on what is happening. I am not sure exactly what to tell you all. Dad is losing significant amounts of weight, but he refuses to give up. He went to Dr. Becerra on Monday. He was told that he was not a candidate for chemo until his stamina increases. He has difficulty eating as that causes some pain in his stomach.

He has had several nice visits lately including his cousin Tom from Ohio, Penny, and Fumiko from L. A. via Japan. We have also received nice dinners and other meals from friends. Thank you for that. It is so nice to have support.

We all appreciate your continued prayers. If there is anything to tell you, we will put it here ASAP.

Update -- Chemo Resumes

Hello all,
The chemo has resumed and seems to be going well. At the end of this round we will get a scan to see how it is working. We have had a busy time lately. Thursday we went to Les Miserables and Saturday, Dad went again with Jeff who is in town for a visit. It was wonderful as always.

They threw him a surprise birthday party at the office. I think he was really surprised and overwhelmed! This week he has off to rest from the drugs. It is a good thing to have time to adjust.

Just a couple of notes, there are some new drugs coming out to treat this cancer. One is called XL119 (becatecarin), for which a multinational Phase III clinical trial in bile duct tumor is ongoing and which has been exclusively licensed to Helsinn Healthcare S.A.; The other is Davanat which I am not sure is even good for Bile Duct Cancer, but we have been bombarded lately by information in the Bile Duct community. I think they are looking for guinea pigs, but Dad doesn't qualify. I keep thinking he is living long enough to find tha one super drug that will fix this all up! So keep your prayers coming and we will get there!!!

I am sorry about the guest book. Somehow I am unable to log in and delete the crazy Spam. I will figure it out. In the mean time feel free to leave comments here below the messages. Thank you all for checking in!

Chemo Off And On Again....

Last week, Dad was taken off of chemo due to low white counts. He got a Neulasta injection which did the trick taking his count from .9 to 17,000. Pretty cool! He will begin Gemzar again next Monday. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!! Cherish

Hi all,
Dad had chemo round 2 yesterday and this one went much better, although they think he may be having a reaction to the Xeloda. They took him off of it to see and told him to take some Benadryl. He has Lab work next Monday, no chemo. 2 more rounds of chemo then a CT Scan to acess the progress. Thanks for checking in!

Round 1 Chemo

Dad started chemo Monday. He is taking Gemzar(gemcitabine) and Xeloda. He is wiped out. He is not doing well with this round at all. He has not left the bed and cannot eat. When he tells me he is bad, I know it is, because 90% of the time he will try to fake it and say he is fine. He can't do that.

Mom is taking him to Baylor for lab work, hydration and said they may try to admit him. He is so undernourished right now it is frightening. He is very thin, VERY thin. This is getting difficult to see. Please remember him in your prayers. He is suffering so much.
Love, Cherish

Chemotherapy Again

Dad had mets to his abdominal cavity. He went in to get hydrated today and talk to Dr. Becerra. He is being put on Gemzar and Xeloda. I hope insurance will pay for that this time. I don't know when they will start, but I am guessing by Monday.

Biopsy Day - May 15th

Today, Dad went to Baylor to have a biopsy. On Friday, he had gone to have a CT Scan. This CT showed tumor. Tumor where it had not been before. Yes, the monster seems to be growing. Dad was put in Twilight sleep today (which apparantly did not do anything for the pain) and he was biopsied three times. The tumor is moving as we would say North by Northwest or up his abdomen and toward his right side (basically in the direction of the liver or right lung). I wonder if this is the reason he is having trouble keeping food down or digesting it. It could be in the small intestine. I don't know how deep the tumor goes. I do know that it was going along an artery last time they saw it.

I will have pathology reports and what the treatment plan, if any, will be within the week. I will keep you posted. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Cherish